AIMeM Torah would like to wish all our readers a happy and healthy New Year! Thank you for all your support over the past year.
Once again, Rosh Hashanah is upon us. This
time of year is primarily and rightfully looked at as a time of repentance,
retrospection, and recognition of Hashem as our King. However, this whole
period from Elul to Yom Kippur is also about developing our relationship with Hashem.
There is a famous teaching that the month of אלול is an
acrostic for the phrase “אֲנִי לְדוֹדִי וְדוֹדִי לִי”
“I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine”, found in Shir HaShirim
(6:3). This teaches us that the whole point of the Elul and Aseres Yimei
Teshuvah process is to reach a stage where we feel that bond between us and Hashem,
both on an individual and national level.
The relationship
between Hashem and Bnei Yisrael is described throughout Shir HaShirim, with
both parties referring to each other as דּוֹדִי.
Rav Shalom Schwadron, in his famous sefer on Elul, Kol Dodi Dofek,
examines a number of these pesukim and shows how we can use them to enhance
this time of year and develop our own דּוֹדִי
relationship with Hashem. I would like to examine one such example.
Perek 5 of Shir
HaShirim begins with the beloved (Hashem) coming to visit in the middle of the
night, but we hesitate to open the door since we are already in bed. The pasuk
continues, “דּוֹדִי שָׁלַח יָדוֹ מִן הַחוֹר וּמֵעַי הָמוּ
עָלָיו” “My beloved stretched out his hand from the hole, and my
insides stirred because of him” (5:4). Rav Schwadron explains that the hole
must not have always been here, otherwise, the beloved would have reached in immediately
instead of asking and waiting for us to open to door. Additionally, the fact
that this hole is important enough to be mentioned means we must discuss its origins.
Where did it come from? How was it made?
Imagine if someone
knocks on your door in the middle of the night. Not only that, you have just
finished all your preparations for bed, and are just sliding under the covers
to go to sleep. Whoever knocks now better be very important or you’re not
getting out of bed! And that in of itself is a tremendous sign of the
relationship.
This example is the
exact same situation as is written in the pesukim! And while we reply to our
beloved that it would be hard for us to get out of bed, the very fact that we
bother responding to him shows that he is important enough to us to warrant a
response when we are exhausted, lying in bed. Someone who we don’t value at
all, wouldn’t even get any response out of us at all!
This is just a small
gesture, perhaps not even a very respectful one; but Hashem in His mercy
considers this the beginning of Teshuvah. Even a small acknowledgement of His value
to us is enough to create a small hole in what was a solid wall. Upon seeing
this “hole”, Hashem immediately jumps forward and sticks His hand in, to better
enhance that connection between us.
But if we create the hole and Hashem reaches
out to us, how come the pasuk says “my beloved stretched out his hand from
the hole”, if Hashem is outside, He should be stretching His hand towards
the hole! Rav Schwadron explains, this is the secret of Teshuvah. If we put in
even just a little effort from our side, then not only does Hashem help us, He
comes over to our side and pushes us towards Him! He stretches out His hand, not
towards us, but from behind, guiding us and bringing us even closer to Him. However,
that assistance only comes as a result of our efforts, therefore, even with Hashem
behind us, the hole remains small.
However, this
explanation contradicts a different statement of Chazal. There is a famous medrash
on this Perek that says if we will open even a small hole for Hashem, He will
expand that hole to fill the whole world (Shir HaShirim Rabba 5:2). So on one
hand, we see that Hashem supports us only in accordance with our efforts, while
on the other hand, we see that Hashem expands the hole even with just a small effort
on our part. Which way is it?
The difference is
simple. If a person wants to develop a relationship with Hashem, but he’s not
willing to improve himself to the point where he appreciates and understands
the significance of such a relationship to get it, then his hole remains small.
And while Hashem will assist him, it will only be as much as the person is
willing to do himself. But if a person really wants to change, if he really
wants to do Teshuvah, then Hashem will help him to the nth degree!
By either person, this
is a tremendous show of kindness from Hashem. Even someone who is only
interested in putting forth minimal effort will still find his efforts rewarded,
but only to a point. But for someone who is willing to do what it takes, it doesn’t
take much effort either! Just beginning the journey, with just the small bit of
effort at the beginning, Hashem will provide you with everything you need to
reach your destination.
May we all merit a
wonderful and meaningful Rosh Hashanah and Aseres Yimei Teshuvah. May we all
concentrate our effort on forming a relationship with Hashem; and by simply
beginning to show that we care, we should all merit the Siyata Dishmaya, the
divine assistance to reach that goal.
K’Siva Vachasima Tova!
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